[Nyerges, the author of several books, also writes a
blog, and posts Youtube videos. He can be reached at www.ChristopherNyerges.com or Box
41834, Eagle Rock, CA 90041.]
An example of what's wrong with modern TV
I have been watching Chris the farmer on the Bachelor show
on television, along with millions of other fixated, voyeuristic
Americans. I watched some of the last
season’s Bachelorette as well, as my various feelings and thoughts about this
“reality” show have jumbled around.
The show is obviously well-done, professionally produced,
with exotic wonderful places they visit. Yet, on another very primal and basic
level, the show epitomizes what’s wrong with our television culture.
I am bothered by the fact that the show makes a contest out
of the most basic fundamental building block of society and social structures:
the relationship between a loving couple.
Yes, it is, at the end of the day, a contest to see which of the two
dozen or so beautiful women will go home to the farm with Chris. They are all decked out, trying to out-do
the other in their favors and attention to the handsome farm boy. It’s somewhat
like two people getting all dress up for a date, except Chris can pick any
apple from the tree. How realistic is
that? It’s not, it’s TV!
In the beginning of the show, all the women are happy and
having fun. Of course! But it is like playing the lotto – only one
will “win.” So it’s sad and
disheartening to see the beautiful women all lined up like boxes of cereal
while Chris gets to decide what he wants for breakfast. It’s not real, and while everyone watches
from their living rooms as women one by one are voted off, viewers don’t feel
the very real emotional agony that the voted-off ones experience. It’s very
real pain, and all unnecessary, all for the TV experience.
Relationships are very real, and the best meetings don’t
occur in staged TV shows. The best meetings occur in everyday real life, where
you will see the person as they normally are, going about their very real life.
Meaningful relationships can begin at the flea market while examining ancient
coins, or at the farmers market while
selecting apples, or at the park while studying plants and animals. Life is that way. People meet and love
flourishes where you least expect it.
Real life does not always live up to all the beauty and hype
of a TV show. Chris the farmer is far more likely to meet the right person and
have a fulfilled life by visiting more of the families in his farm community,
where he’d find someone already in-tune with the life he lives.
Each time I have watched the bachelor I get the sick feeling
that I am watching some sort of horse auction where one of the horses gets
selected for the race track, except these are women, not horses.
At the root, I find the show demeaning, since it reduces the
beauty and magic of relationships and love to a device of entertainment. I understand the popularity of the show, and
yet, we are looking at very real individuals, who perhaps didn’t realize the
full ramifications of the web into which they entangled themselves when the
agreed to be part of the show. Viewers
who watch the show might just be fooled into believing that real relationships
can and should be developed by such an artificial method. But again, real life
is very different. The people “dating” on this TV show are certainly not paying for all the rooms and vacations and
decorated sets at all the beautiful far-flung locations. It’s a fantasy!
We watch as Chris is struggling with who to pick, and trying
to decide with whom he might be “falling in love” with, and therefore who he
may want to spend his life with. And I
struggle each time the show is on to turn off the TV, and get back to the very
real work of living life, and finding meaning and fulfillment in the real
world.
As long as we don’t forget that the tale of Chris the Farmer
and his assorted potential wives is fantasy, then we might enjoy the tale.
The big losers may be the “contestants” of the show: the
women who publicly flaunted themselves to the star, only to be rejected, and
the farmerboy himself, who one day may realize that he already lived in
paradise where his ideal mate could have been found in a more organic and
private manner.
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