THE HARVEY WEINSTEIN SAGA
[Nyerges is a teacher, and author of such books at “How
to Survive Anywhere,” “Til Death Do Us Part?”, “Extreme Simplicity:
Homesteading in the City,” and others. He can be reached at www.SchoolofSelf-Reliance.com,
or Box 41834, Eagle Rock, CA 90041]
The Harvey Weinstein saga was the opening salvo in what can
be described as the latest Pandora’s Box to be opened for public viewing. Why now? Who knows? The timing was right,
apparently, and the pendulum has swung – in a good direction.
I’ve had many discussions in the past month as revelation
after revelation has come forth, almost at a dizzying speed. The nature of this
particular Pandora’s Box is unique, and it has ignited deep-felt discussions by
both men and women. I’ve had
discussions with just men, just women, and with mixed groups. I’d like to share some of my observations.
First, by whatever divine timing occurs to allow such
nasties to be revealed, it is clear that women have had enough! Women everywhere know how they have been
treated for so long, almost automatically, and they want it to end. After all,
let’s face it -- the world is largely run by men, and many of them haven’t
gotten used to the idea of a woman in the work place which is his equal, and
should be respected as such. Or, the
men who have been running things for so long have come to expect – even demand
– certain perks from the women who are part of their solar system.
Once, many years ago while having lunch with my mentor at
the time, he noted that I glanced over at a very attractive woman in the next
booth over. My mentor said nothing at first. Then, in a short while, he said,
“Most men have no clue how hard it is to be a beautiful and attractive
woman.” He did not specify the woman
that I had glanced at, but let’s just
say that she had all the assets that a man seems to not be able to not stare
at. “Imagine if you were such a woman,” he continued. “All day long, men would whistle at you,
yell at you, taunt you, and they would interpret your every move as a flirt or
an invitation to them.” Honestly, I’d
never quite thought about it that way before. I’d figured, as a male, that it
would be quite awesome to be the most attractive woman in the room where every
guy wanted to… well, you know.
My mentor continued.
“The curse of being highly attractive is that it is nearly impossible
for most men to see beyond your body, and get to know the person inside.” I had
to admit that was true. Sad, but true.
In our recent Weinstein-related discussions, most of the
women were a bit surprised when I declared that nearly all men are natural
predators, and that they have to work hard to overcome their animal nature.
Women are not that way, and so they are too often surprised when a man’s animal
nature strikes. That’s no excuse for
the man, of course – it’s just a fact.
I found it interesting that not a single man challenged my
assertion that nearly all men are predators.
Why? Because they are men! They
know what it is like to be inside a man’s body.
I was asked if I thought any of these women were lying with
their sexual allegations. I said no, I
didn’t think so. I mean, maybe there
are one or two exaggerations, but I didn’t see any reason for deceit in this
matter. One man asked me, “Well, don’t
you think it’s odd that some of them waited 30 years to speak up?” No, I didn’t find that unusual at all. After
all, if you lived in an environment where you had to prove something happened,
you would end up in the so-called he-said-she-said situation, where it could
not be decided by a court who was lying or telling the truth. So why would any
woman under such difficult situations bother to again put herself
through the wringer of the courts? I
believe most of the women. The timing
was right and they are speaking up, saying, I didn’t like what you did to me. I
did not consent. What you did was wrong.
And men should really sit up and listen. A woman does not like a man to push himself on
her. A woman who rejects a man (for whatever reason) is not playing “hard to
get.” Guys, get over it. If the woman
does not care for you, keep your hands
to yourself and move along smartly. The world is a very big place. Remember, it is always the woman who chooses
in a relationship. Get that into your
head.
The Weinstein saga has brought up a lot of touchy issues,
some of which will probably not be resolved any time soon. For example, there are some who want to
revisit some of Bill Clinton’s sexual allegations. But, they aren’t interested
in Bill's extramarital affairs – something that occurred between two consenting adults
and therefore only their own business – but only in cases where Clinton forced
himself on a woman, and used his power to influence her to do something she did
not want to do.
As since the beginning of time, men like women, women like
men, and we all need each other, as friends, partners, and associates. Learn to give the respect that you want and
expect others to give of you.
These are some of the things that my friends and I
discussed. I think it’s good that the
cat came out of the bag, and I hope that we might see positive changes in the
male-female relationships of our society as a result.
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